One Shot: I Know
by adcgordon
Summary: Their careers are getting ready to move in different directions. How will our fave couple handle it? A one shot inspired by pictures of skater boy Zac as he just tries to find a private place to think.


**There are some pics floating out there now of Zac in Santa Monica. To me he looks like a young man just searching for a place to go and think. If you've seen those pictures I think this One Shot will make a bit more sense (hopefully).  
As always, I own NOTHING related to HSM, the characters, actors or awesome production crew who brought this generation-changing phenomena into our lives.  
Please read, enjoy & review. I love hearing from you! Reviews and/or PM's are welcome and invited...they feed my addiction! :)**

* * *

Zac walked through the front door of Vanessa's house and wandered through to the kitchen. "Hey." He offered as a greeting to his girlfriend who was putting together a sandwich at the kitchen counter.

"Hey." She replied back as she offered her cheek for him to place a soft kiss. "Want something to eat? I just got back from the grocery." She smiled softly at him as he walked over to the sink and looked out the window.

"Nah, I'm good. I'm just gonna grab some water and go take a shower." Zac turned and saw the smile on her face. She was so beautiful. He was dreading the upcoming summer and fall when they would be going their separate ways to further their careers.

He smiled back at her as he reached into the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. She watched him silently as he guzzled over half the bottle, put the lid on and sat the remainder back on the cool shelf.

"Did you find a place to board?" She knew that's where he had been. He had searched and searched for a place to just get on his skateboard and ride for a while. That's what Zac did when he needed to think.

"Yeah. I ended up in Santa Monica though. And there was still some photographer that caught me. Didn't try to ask me anything but the camera was trained on me for half an hour. I even climbed up on a wall and answered a couple of texts and they still kept snapping." Zac sighed. He missed Japan. He had just spent nearly three weeks in the country where paparazzi didn't dare harass the rich and famous.

"I knew you must've gone farther than usual. You left an hour before I went to the store and I still beat you home." Vanessa commented and noticed Zac's face still troubled. "Go, take a shower. You'll have some privacy there. I promise."

They grinned at each other as Zac turned around to head out of the kitchen. "Love you." Vanessa said shyly.

"I know." Zac replied as he walked past her and rubbed his thumb across her cheek.

Vanessa watched him pull the t-shirt over his head and wander up the stairs. She stepped back to the counter to eat and within a couple of minutes she heard the water come on in their bathroom.

She relaxed just a little knowing Zac was back home, at her house. Over the past week that's where they had stayed. Her house…their bedroom at her house. But since they had returned from Japan Zac had gradually gotten more distant, lost more and more in his own thoughts.

He was far enough into those thoughts that Vanessa fully expected him to return to his own house sometime without warning and just hole-up there. She simply hoped he would at least call and let her know that's where he was, so she wouldn't worry. Even now though, knowing exactly where he was, she was still worrying.

More than anything she was worrying about his response to their most endearing words. For some couples when one says 'I love you' and the other responds 'I know', it's just part of their charisma, part of what they do as a couple. Not the case for Zac and Vanessa.

From the first time Vanessa admitted to Zac that she loved him they had repeated those words to each other. Anytime one said 'I love you' the other's response was, 'Love you too'. That had only changed in the past few days.

Their week in Japan had been wonderful. Zac had relaxed. He had been so tired from all of the traveling and movie promotions, tv appearances and even radio talk shows in various countries. The Far East country had been a nice reprieve from the media chaos that tracked him and them almost everywhere else in the world.

They had been able to go sightseeing, eat out and even just take a stroll through the parks near their hotel. They walked hand in hand, smiled at each other and even shared some warm kisses with few people even paying attention to them. In all its simplicity, it was just nice.

They had discussed their upcoming schedules and how much they were going to miss each other. The 21 year old man and his 20 year old girlfriend discussed lots of things from friendships to the future, and their future. Yes, Japan had been a welcome reprieve.

When they returned to the states the chaos had started again. Except they made a conscious effort to stay in the first few days they were back. The only upcoming thing they had to worry about was an awards show. And they had left themselves a solid week, plus some time before that happened. Just a little more time together.

The first few days back had been good. Unpacking, laundry, just getting settled back in were top priorities. They went by Zac's house, gathered fresh clothes for him, checked messages and gathered the mail.

Zac had even brought a stack of fan mail over to Vanessa's house for them to look through together. After all, it would be rare for a fan letter to NOT mention Vanessa in some form or fashion. They had both decided to read their fan mail together over year ago. It just made that part of their fame a more interesting part of their relationship.

Vanessa heard the water turn off and sat still at the counter. Thoughts of their first few days back turned to thoughts of the past few days. She was trying to pinpoint when she had started to see a change in Zac's attitude. She didn't want to over analyze it but she needed to figure it out for her own sanity.

She allowed those thoughts to stop for just a moment. She realized this was the first time in two weeks that Zac hadn't asked her to shower with him. He hadn't even urged her to wait for him on the bed like he usually did.

It wasn't something sexual. It was just a habit he had gotten into. If she was awake and present and he needed to shower he tried to bring her with him. If she declined he would still ask her to wait for him in the bedroom. 50 percent of the time she would join him. 48 percent of the time she would wait in the bedroom for his towel-clad body to reappear.

The rare two percent of the time that was left, they were arguing. It was never a yell and scream, knock-down-drag-out fight. It was usually something silly that Zac would say that made Vanessa pout. Those incidents would still usually end with Zac in a towel, wrapping wet arms around her, causing a make-up session well worth the petty argument.

Now those thoughts sent her in a different direction. The last couple of mornings Zac had showered long before she awoke. There was no particular reason for it other than he had woken up earlier than her. At least that was the explanation he had offered her.

Vanessa suddenly felt like puzzle pieces had been dumped into her brain and she couldn't find those straight-edge parts to even begin putting it together. Her stomach twisted a little as she decided to wait and see how Zac decided to appear after this particular shower.

She knew he was out of the bathroom now. Did he come out expecting her to be on the bed? He hadn't invited her this time. Would he come downstairs with the towel wrapped around his waist in search of her? For some reason she doubted it. Why, in this moment, did this matter?

V got off the bar stool where she was seated at the counter. She took her plate to the sink and turned on the water. She mindlessly started scrubbing at the dish that had but a few crumbs on it. She heard his footsteps coming down the stairs but didn't turn around. She just waited, staring out the window, and kept scrubbing.

Zac noticed her standing at the sink. What was she doing? Washing dishes? The only thing Vanessa ever scrubbed was pots or pans. She never washed a plate, other than rinsing them before putting them in the dishwasher.

He stopped at the door of the kitchen and watched her. Her face was pointed up, looking out the window while her hands continued to move along the plate under the running water. He felt a warm tear run down his cheek but couldn't bear to say anything to her.

While standing in the shower he had realized that he didn't even try to bring her with him. He didn't ask her to wait on the bed. He didn't make any advance on her at all, other than caressing her cheek for just a moment.

When he had opened the door to the bathroom he had wanted her to be on the bed waiting for him. In his mind he knew she wouldn't be. But they weren't arguing, they weren't fighting, she wasn't pouting. So he had slipped on his boxers and a pair of sports shorts and headed down the stairs.

He wanted to go straight to her and wrap his arms around her. But so many thoughts had filled his head since they got back from their summer vacation. He just wasn't sure how to wrap his young mind around them. So he stood and watched her scrubbing ridiculously at a clean plate.

----------

For the first time in nearly four years they were getting ready to head in separate directions. Not breaking up, but heading into different projects that didn't involve them together.

Sure, they've shot other movies, but throughout the time apart they knew they would be coming back together to work again. The trilogy had guaranteed them months at a time together. Not to mention promotional time together when the movies were being released.

Not this time. This time when they went to different locations to shoot their movies for 2010 there was no project to bring them back together. This time, it would be up to them to make their pairing work. The true test of their relationship was getting ready to begin. And Zac was wondering if they were up for it, mainly if he was up for it.

He didn't want to hurt Vanessa. He didn't want to cheat on her. He didn't want to leave her waiting on him and wondering about things. But he was already feeling hurt in his own heart at just the thought of being apart from her. And he didn't know how to make that hurt go away.

Just a few days back from Japan they had started comparing calendars. The move was meant to attempt to coordinate at least some weekends when they could meet and try to sneak in some time together. Vanessa had been excited as they found at least one four-day stretch each month during their separation when they could get together.

Zac's heart lifted at her excitement. But then as he looked at the monthly sheets his heart dropped again. Four days out of 30 or 31. He realized he wanted more than that. Each time he looked at those calendars, each day, his heart dropped a little more.

Now, standing and watching her, he knew she was upset. And, he knew he had caused it. That made his heart hurt even more. At the moment, he didn't know how to help her because he needed help himself.

He had always been the strong one in this relationship. She leaned on him. Of course Vanessa supported him too, but Zac didn't often ride the emotional roller coaster that he was currently on. As a matter of fact, if he was honest, this was the first time he had been forced on this ride. And frankly, he wanted off.

He didn't hear himself sniffle but he saw her freeze. Vanessa looked back down at the plate in her hand. She swallowed hard knowing then that he was watching her. She turned off the faucet and cautiously placed the plate in the drainer. "I, uh, didn't realize you were out of the shower." She lied.

Zac noticed that she didn't turn around to face him. That meant one of two things. Either of which would make him hurt even more. She was either mad at him, or she was crying.

"Is everything okay? You were really scrubbing that plate." He attempted to make conversation. He covered the strangle in his own voice quite well.

Vanessa wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She hoped it looked like she was wiping her forehead but she knew he was more observant than that. At least, he had been in the past. Right now she wasn't sure. She was seeing a side of Zac that she wasn't used to. It was a side that made her worry about him, and them.

"I was just remembering that I forgot to pick up several things at the store." She finally turned away from the sink but still didn't look at Zac. She knew there was no towel around his waist. She really didn't want to see what he was wearing. It didn't matter right now. "I think I'm gonna run back out and get them before I forget again." She verbalized that lie with the knowledge that he could see right through it. She wasn't going to the store, she just had to get out of the house.

"Nessa…" he started as she brushed past him in the doorway. She still didn't look at him.

"I'll be back in a little bit, okay? Love you." She said as she picked up her keys and purse and opened the door. She waited for his response.

"I know." He answered.

---------

Vanessa sat down in the driver's seat of her car and put her hands on the steering wheel. She leaned her head down onto her hands and sat for just a moment. When she started the engine she didn't know where she was going so she let the car lead her.

When she threw the car back into park she was a little surprised. She was in the garage at Zac's house. She opened the car door and made her way inside. As she got to the bedroom she heard her phone buzzing in her bag.

She desperately wanted to let it buzz, but instead she fished it out and noticed the caller i-d. "Hey Corbs, what's up?" she spoke and noticed the nasal sounds coming through her voice.

"I was hoping you could tell me." Corbin answered. "What's up with Zac?"

Vanessa knew she couldn't answer that. She honestly didn't know. And at the moment she didn't know how to find out. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's up with Zac? I've been trying to catch up with him for a couple of days now and all he says is that he needs to be home with you. Are you okay?" Corbin's concern sounded genuine.

Vanessa was a bit relieved and yet still confused. If Zac wanted to be home with her then why was he going out by himself? If he wanted to be with her then why did he seem to be avoiding her?

"Corbin, I'd love to be able to tell you what's up with him, but I have no clue." Corbin could hear the exasperation finally coming through her tone. "We had a near perfect week together in Japan. Came home and had a couple of good days just getting back into things and then he just clammed up."

Corbin asked again, "V, are you okay?" The question was followed by a soft sniffling sound on the other end of the line.

"I would be better if I knew what the hell was going on in his head. I can't read him right now. I don't know what he's thinking and he's barely talking." She stopped to take a breath.

She sat down on the bed and looked around the room she was in. Their bedroom, his house. Zac's décor minus the bedding set that he had let her pick. She had insisted on a down comforter and cotton sheets and pillow cases. The silky things that he picked out reminded her of her underwear. Often times, in bed with him, when she wanted to be out of her underwear she didn't want to feel a similar material under her entire body. Rather, she wanted to feel him against her skin.

She smiled as she remembered that exact conversation with Zac. She still couldn't believe that she had confessed that to him in the middle of Bed, Bath and Beyond. Thank God they had been the only ones in the bedding section at that point in time. Zac had blushed, tossed the satin sheet set back onto the shelf and put his arms in the air surrendering. _"Can't argue with that."_ He had choked.

Vanessa smile widened just a little more as she recalled making a hasty exit from that store, purchasing the items that were currently on this bed. They had barely gotten the fitted sheet over the mattress before Zac had attacked her and playfully thrown her down on the sheet. It wasn't the first time they had made love in his house but it was the first time on that bed. Zac had said the bedding set would always be his favorite 'house warming' gift.

"V?" Corbin's voice brought her back to the current time. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"I, I'm not sure Corbs. Thanks for offering, but I don't know. I just…I just can't read him." Vanessa repeated.

There was silence for a minute or two. Neither of the friends thought about hanging up but they weren't sure what else to say.

"Have you talked to Ash?" Corbin finally asked.

Vanessa realized he wasn't trying to change the subject. He was trying to offer a different perspective on this subject. And she realized he was right. Ashley might just hold an answer.

"Not since the day after we got back." Vanessa thought again. "She's been promoting the new album. I didn't want to bug her. Actually, everything was okay till like three days ago."

Corbin continued, "I'd bug her V. Something's up with Z-man. If you can't read him I don't know who can. I'd bug her."

Vanessa sat quietly for another minute. "Yeah. You're right." She whispered and lay back against the pillows on the bed.

"You know how to reach me if you need to, right?" Corbin offered. "Call me whenever. I'm here and I'll help. You just tell me what to do."

Vanessa felt the tears in her eyes. "Thanks Big Bro." She tried to smile.

"I love ya Little Sis. Always." Corbin attempted to stay upbeat knowing she was getting ready to cry.

"Love you too. I promise I'll call if I need you." Vanessa finished.

"You'd better!" Corbin ended the conversation.

Vanessa hugged Zac's pillow to her body. She had only been gone 20 minutes but she felt guilty for leaving Zac alone. She again tried to pinpoint when he started to change, and what the change involved.

There were really only two of those puzzle pieces that she could pick out. First, discussions of their summer schedules had stopped. After the day they compared calendars and nailed down the days they could possibly have together, the discussion had stopped. She had tried a couple of times to talk about plane tickets and hotel reservations but he had quickly changed subjects. More than that, he had gotten up once and walked away without any comment.

Secondly he had stopped telling her that he loved her. _That_ scared her. Then, as she thought about it, she got mad. _"This crap has gotta stop."_ She thought to herself.

She picked up her cell phone and stared at Ashley's number before dialing it. She had no clue at the moment where her best girlfriend was or what was on her agenda. But Corbin was right. She needed help…and she needed to bug Ash to get it.

----------

"Ash, I need help." Vanessa had admitted as soon as her friend answered the phone.

"What's up?" Ashley answered cheerfully. She assumed Vanessa needed wardrobe help or a restaurant suggestion.

"I think I'm losing Zac."

Ashley was in her hotel room. She was running through the song she would sing on the late show that evening. Suddenly the song went blank in her mind and she felt a strong need to be back in Los Angeles. She didn't want to make Vanessa repeat the words, but she couldn't have heard them right. She made her way to the source of the music and turned it off. Now with the room silent she could continue.

"Ash, did you hear me? I said I think I'm losing Zac." Vanessa repeated. Now the tears were flowing as she allowed the words to spill from her lips.

"Talk to me Vanessa. Just talk to me. What's going on. Where are you?" Ashley felt the need to take control. Somehow, hundreds of miles away, her friend needed her to take control.

"I'm, I'm at Zac's house. He's at mine. And I don't know what's going on, I can't figure it out." Her soft sobs interrupted the words but Ashley listened intently.

"Why…why are you at…the houses…what am I even trying to ask here?" Ashley was trying to grasp the situation and was getting nowhere. "Just tell me why you're at his place and he's at yours."

Vanessa wasn't sure where to begin. She stopped trying to think when Ashley answered the phone. "We've been staying at mine. I just…a little while ago…I needed to get out of the house to think for a little bit so I came over here."

"What happened? Did he hurt you? Vanessa, if he did something to hurt you…" Ashley knew she needed to back track and figure out what was going on.

"No, no, no. It's not like that. We're not fighting. At least I don't think we are. But I can't figure it out. I need your help." Vanessa finally got the words together.

"Honey, I'm in Texas right now. You know I'll help you however I can, but I won't be back home for another two weeks. Do you need to come to me?" Ashley knew she couldn't get out of her appearances for a Zanessa relationship emergency. Although she was very tempted to go home right now.

"I just need you to talk to me, or listen to me. I don't know…I just need to try and sort this out in my head and I need somebody to take notes for me and help me figure it out." Vanessa gripped Zac's pillow against her as she spoke.

"Where do you need to start? I'm listening." Ashley offered.

Vanessa stopped again and thought. "We were all good in Japan. Talked about everything, enjoyed everything, sightseeing, playing, walking…just being together. It was all good."

"_Together_ together?" Ashley wondered out loud. Sex-life discussions were not unusual between the two.

"Yeah, oh yeah," Vanessa rubbed her temple with her index finger. "All good in Japan."

"And when you got home?" Ashley urged on.

"All good for the first couple of nights we were back."

"Two nights straight? Even after a 13-hour plane ride? Call me impressed." Ashley sighed.

"What? Ashley!" Vanessa let out one bit of a laugh.

"_There's a start." _ Ashley thought to herself. "Sorry, what changed?"

"That's what I can't figure out. We were both jetlagged, but the second night we were back, he woke me up, 'in the mood'. That was fine with me. Afterwards I started wondering when we'd be able to hook up once our movie shoots start again." Vanessa kept her thoughts flowing.

"But, like, you guys have been through this how many times now? You always find time to get together. Even if it's just for a weekend, right?" Ashley tried to help.

"Well, yeah. So the next day I got our calendars out and we started checking our schedules and stuff and we figured out when we'd be able to get together. It's gonna be rough, but we've got at least four days each month, and there's probably some weekends where he can come to me or I can go to him."

"Okay, so if you know some dates for sure, then you go ahead and book your hotel room and get your flight plans made. That way you don't have to worry about doing that from the movie set, right?" Ashley's thoughts were very similar to what V had had.

"That's what I thought. So the next day I start trying to talk to him about that and he just got up and walked away." Vanessa again remembered the odd feeling she had gotten when he had moved away from her.

"Wait, that doesn't sound like Zac. Did you guys _do anything_ that night before?" Ashley asked.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and put her hand on her forehead. "Ash, quit digging for info on our sex life. Not my fault that yours isn't as good." Vanessa smiled shyly.

"Hey Little Miss, this probably isn't the best time for you to offer to compare notes. Now, I'm serious. Was there anything the night before?" Ash really didn't want to delve into the particulars, although curiosity was a factor, she couldn't help it.

"Ugh." Vanessa admitted a bit of defeat. "We were both feeling more rested. I kinda expected something but I got the 'Beastly' script delivered that day and so I was reading over that in bed. When Zac came to bed he just glanced to see what I was reading and then turned on the tv. Come to think of it, he didn't even kiss me goodnight that night."

Now she rubbed her forehead again. Was that another piece to the puzzle?

"Were you looking at the script the next day before you started trying to talk to him about flights?" Ashley was now trying to find those puzzle pieces too.

"Um, yeah. He went for a run and I was reading it on the couch. It's a good script. But when Zac got home I put down the script and tried to talk to him."

"Script was on the table where he could see it?" Ashley was forming a theory.

"Yeah, so?" Vanessa's head was beginning to hurt.

"Has Zac even looked at the script for it?" She knew her friend was in need of a simple answer here. Things were already very complicated. V needed someone to spell out the things that were going on. Ashley wasn't sure, but at least a couple of things were flashing through her mind.

"He looked at the draft script before we decided to audition for it. Yeah, he looked at that one several times and then decided that I would audition but he would skip this one." Vanessa now remembered being a little disappointed that Zac didn't want to audition for the 'Beast' role. But ultimately they had made the decision together, and knew 'Beauty' could be the breakout role that Vanessa was waiting for. Neither of them wanted their relationship to overshadow her chance to move forward in her acting career.

"If you and Zac had auditioned together _he_ would be in this movie with you, wouldn't he?" Ashley was trying her best to make the lights flicker on in Vanessa's brain.

"Not guaranteed, but yeah, probably." Vanessa was still in the dark.

"Sweetie. I'm not there, I don't know what's going on. But let's think about this. You're getting ready to take off for like two months to shoot a movie with some up and coming hunk. That hunk could've been Zac again, but he…you both…decided that he wouldn't do this movie with you." Ashley wasn't sure what else to say.

"He sacrificed a chance for us to work together again, for me to move forward…and now he's regretting that." The light switched on. "Now he doesn't even want to talk about our schedules because he knows he could've been right there with me the whole time." Vanessa covered her eyes with her forearm as the tears began again.

"Yeah." Ashley could feel her pain.

"I wanted him to do this Ashley. I kept telling him I wanted him to do it. But he kept saying that I needed to do this for me. For some reason I finally gave in to him." Vanessa stopped again to think.

"Is that why he doesn't love me anymore?" She barely whispered into the phone.

"Whoa, where is that coming from?" Ashley's eyes flew open at Vanessa's question. "Did he say that?"

"No." Again Vanessa's voice was barely a whisper. "But he's stopped telling me that he loves me. Whenever I say 'Love You' he just answers 'I know.'

"Well that crap's gotta stop." Ashley declared.

"But if he won't say it…he's stopped loving me." Vanessa's 20 year old brain was not sure what to think. Zac was her first real love. He had become her life. The thought of him not loving her sent an ache raging through her entire body.

"I don't think so Vanessa, honey. I think he's just realizing…well, he's realizing that maybe he made a mistake by not taking that role. And he's realizing that he's going to have to let a piece of you go to do this movie. It's probably scaring the hell out of him." Ashley made the point quite matter-of-factly.

"I didn't even think about that. I don't think I've ever really seen him scared." Vanessa admitted.

"I doubt he's ever had a reason to really be scared. Vanessa, you're the love of his life. You are his life. If I were him and realized that I had missed an opportunity to share something with you…something that could potentially be a huge step in your life…I'd be terrified. I'd really be disappointed in myself and absolutely terrified that I couldn't share that with you." Ashley's words were making perfect sense to Vanessa's heart.

"But what about when he did Hairspray, and 17 Again? Those were both huge for him and we've shared those. Sure there were things that I missed out on, but still, we've shared his success and I'm so proud of him for that."

"Honey, that was _him_ moving forward. This time it's _you_ . And you weren't offered a chance to audition in those movies, were you? In this case, he was offered, and declined the offer. It's all just probably smacking him in the face and he doesn't know how to handle it." Ashley continued holding the phone to her ear waiting for Vanessa's response.

"So what do I do?" Vanessa asked seriously.

"Totally my opinion here. But I'd say you confront him on it. And I'd start by asking him why he won't tell you that he loves you. That's got me ticked off and I'm ready to ask him about it. He can be as scared as he wants to be about anything but that should _not_ affect his love for you. I want to know his excuse for that!" Vanessa could hear a tinge of anger in Ash's voice. Now she was glad her friend was in Texas…sort of.

"I get it Ash. I'm gonna hang up and go home now. I hope you're right on all this." Vanessa stopped for just a moment to pray that Ashley was correct. If she wasn't…Vanessa didn't even want to think about the other possibilities. "Love You." Vanessa finally felt a smile form on her lips.

"I know." Ashley answered, and then continued before Vanessa could interrupt, "Love you too!"

----------

Vanessa stayed on the bed holding Zac's pillow while she tried to pull her thoughts together. The puzzle was making more sense now. But she wasn't sure how to help Zac feel better, or if she could. She knew she had to try, but how?

A soothing ringtone vibrated from her phone moments later. Zac's ringtone. She answered with a simple, "Hello?"

"Nessa? Baby? Are…are you gonna come home? I need to talk to you."

Vanessa could hear the fear in his voice. Ashley was right. He was scared. Now, finally, maybe he was reaching out to her. As much as Zac needed her help, Vanessa needed him to reach out. It was a role reversal neither of them had auditioned for. It was one they both needed to accept and experience together, before life attempted to pull them apart.

"I'll be there in just a few minutes." She stated. "Zac, we're gonna be okay. I love you." She wasn't sure what to expect in return.

"I, I know." He stumbled. "I love you too." It was quiet but it was clear. And, Vanessa had heard it.

They both hung up their phones and Vanessa hurried to put herself back together and drive home. She opened the front door to find Zac sitting on the couch waiting for her with his head in his hands.

"Do you really?" she started a bit solemnly.

Zac kept his head in his hands as he asked his own question. "Do I what?" This wasn't the way he had envisioned this conversation beginning. Although, in all honesty, he wasn't sure what to expect.

"Do you…really love me?" she asked more gently.

Zac took a deep breath. He finally pulled his head from his hands and looked toward her. Vanessa could see the tears in his eyes as he answered quietly. "Of course I do."

Vanessa reached toward his face to wipe away the overflowing tears. "You haven't told me that for three days. I need to hear it Zac."

Through his tears Zac tried to start the conversation that he had attempted to form in his mind. "I'm sorry Nessa. I'm scared. I love you, so, so much. And I'm sorry."

Vanessa wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She kissed his hair and caressed his tear-stained cheek. She didn't say anything else. She knew he would talk when he was ready.

They sat for nearly a half hour on the couch in silence. "We should be doing that movie together." Zac pointed toward the script on the coffee table.

"I agree." Vanessa admitted as she ran her fingers through his growing hair. "I would rather have you as my co-star. It would be a hundred times better if you were in it with me."

Zac was leaning against her shoulder, her right arm wrapped around him. He took her right hand in his and started playing with the rings on her fingers. "You tried to tell me that when we had the draft script here, didn't you."

Vanessa nodded against the top of his head. "Yeah. But you insisted that this one was for me. _We_ decided that we didn't want to let our relationship overshadow my part in this movie."

"But our relationship has made three awesome movies together…" Zac began.

"And set a ton of records with those movies." Vanessa finished.

"Do you think they would reconsider if we told the producer that I'd like to play the Beast now?" Zac almost hoped she would say 'yes'.

"I think we're out of luck this time. We're just gonna have to muddle through this time." Vanessa spoke softly.

"I don't know if I can." Zac sat up and looked into her face. "I don't think I can stand to be away from you for that long. I don't want to just have you for four days a month. This isn't some custody battle. I – love – you." He emphasized.

"Tomorrow," Vanessa tugged the calendar books off the coffee table where they had been sitting for four days, "we look at these again and figure out flights and hotels. Your movie starts shooting after mine. We're both in Canada for filming. I'm sure we can get some weekends together plus the days we've already looked at."

"I'm sorry Ness. I told myself I wouldn't do this. I'm not used to being on this side of things. Now I guess I know how you've felt." He held her hands and looked at them. His larger hands encased hers perfectly. He loved the way their hands looked together, especially with their fingers intertwined.

She lifted their hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles one by one. "You're not going to lose me Zac. That's not something you need to be scared about. And if 'Beastly' works out like 'Hairspray' or '17 Again' then we'll share my success together, just like we've shared yours. Right?" She asked him frankly.

"I couldn't have had my success without you. Although I may be a bit jealous of all the guys fawning over you." For the first time in days Zac smiled.

"Only a bit jealous?" Vanessa returned his smile.

"If this co-star of yours even attempts to put a hand on you other than what's scripted, he will have to deal with me." Zac's smile came back to nearly gritted teeth. "I mean it Ness. I'll quit what I'm doing and come take the role from him if he tries anything."

Vanessa shook her head. "There's the Zac I've been looking for. Ever the jealous boyfriend." She opened her arms and let him lean in against her.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that you loved me?" She asked while moving her hands freely over his face, shoulders and arms.

"I thought if I didn't say it I wouldn't feel it." He pushed his head harder against her shoulder asking her to hold him tighter.

"Zac, that's just stupid."

"Thank you for sympathizing with me."

"Sorry, channeling my inner-Ashley."

"She's gonna lecture me about this, isn't she."

"Yeah…you're lucky she's in Texas right now or she'd be here lecturing us both." Vanessa sighed.

"Why would she be griping at you?" Zac raised his head from her shoulder for just a moment.

"Because I had to call her to figure out what was going on. I couldn't figure it out by myself." Vanessa admitted.

"She called me as soon as you hung up with her." Zac admitted. He cringed waiting for Vanessa's reaction.

"She what?!" Not exactly the reaction he was expecting, but close.

"She told me to get over myself and suck it up. We've got about six weeks till the movie madness begins again. That's about 42 days that I could either be making love to you or out boarding and feeing sorry for myself. I think she did the math herself, by the way." He kept his head ducked against her chest as he described his conversation with their friend.

Vanessa laughed out loud and shook her head. "Glad to know you thought this through using your heart and brain. I'm very impressed."

"Do you disagree with the reasoning?" Zac lifted his head again and kissed her on the lips.

"I do…" Vanessa accepted his kiss. "But _you_ can probably change my mind if you're finished feeling sorry for yourself." She smiled and hungrily pushed her lips against his.

Zac smiled. "I love you!"

Vanessa simply replied, "I know."

* * *

**Here's hoping for that Best Kiss win on the MTV awards this weekend! Good Luck Zanessa!**


End file.
